nasty life

A Birth Right

As the cries grew stronger

The inflicted pain and the screams echoed in the room

The blood was spurting

The strong hands of me couldn’t hold on the thin wrists, where recently green bangles used to shine

The continuous banging and shaking of the head had made the pillow fall over on the side

It was strange how pain could cause such strength to be revealed

Where the sitar playing hands could push a brick breakers hand

As the scissors and towels vanished from the hands

The odor of blood and disinfectant was making the air heavier to breath

I stood their holding her wrists, trying to calm her strength and pain

At last the blood stained hands brought out little of me

The shrill cry declared the arrival of strength and beauty

It was girl smeared by the struggle and pain.

As the cries grew stronger

The inflicted pain and the screams echoed in the room

The blood was spurting

The strong hands of me couldn’t hold on the thin wrists, where recently green bangles used to shine

The continuous banging and shaking of the head had made the pillow fall over on the side

It was strange how pain could cause such strength to be revealed

Where the sitar playing hands could push a brick breakers hand

As the scissors and towels vanished from the hands

The odor of blood and disinfectant was making the air heavier to breath

I stood their holding her wrists, trying to calm her strength and pain

At last the blood stained hands brought out little of me

The shrill cry declared the arrival of strength and beauty

It was girl smeared by the struggle and pain.

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nasty life

Last Few thoughts

Standing on the edge of roof,

The cold night winds caressed my little finger which had lighted stick and now pointing towards stars

Making the hazy smoke on black sky  

The last few drops and last few hours before I could sense something new to start

I slowly rested my arms on a pillar and closed my eyes

It was a slow hum of remembrance or thoughts of last few moments before something ends  

The smell had brought back from where the glass ended on the other hand

The days when her breath smelt of morning freshness as she kissed my dry lips

The days when her cold hands would still touch my warm cheeks and held them

The days when her breath would smell of alcohol and be a baby

The day when I saw her body shaking intensely with fear

In red and white sari which had managed to complement her unquestioned eyes.

  

nasty life

Leaderless group

A small group of travelers rested below a banyan tree

It was windy afternoon for the month of winter unusually hot and dry

A month during which these travelers could travel two mountain distances in a day

The group had some lovers, winners and many murderers lead by narrow paths

But fate had different idea for them

The hot sun was shining to melt their spirits today

The slumber was just for few minutes but now turned to hours

Some cursed the sun god, some the villagers and some themselves

Death was a part of our journey someone spoke

Why the knowing sun shines so bright?

As some group went forward and some backward, one laid motionless under the tree

The claim was done; rest would be melted by leaderless journey

As no one reached their new followed destination

A small group of travelers rested below a banyan tree

It was windy afternoon for the month of winter unusually hot and dry

A month during which these travelers could travel two mountain distances in a day

The group had some lovers, winners and many murderers lead by narrow paths

But fate had different idea for them

The hot sun was shining to melt their spirits today

The slumber was just for few minutes but now turned to hours

Some cursed the sun god, some the villagers and some themselves

Death was a part of our journey someone spoke

Why the knowing sun shines so bright?

As some group went forward and some backward, one laid motionless under the tree

The claim was done; rest would be melted by leaderless journey

As no one reached their new followed destination

nasty life

Narrow Lanes

It was winter morning the sun was still late in attending the morning prayers which could be heard at a distance small children play school. The children usually got in the school backyard before I even realize that my alarm is ringing, so they seem to get a better perspective on the dawn. The steam rising from the water made me wonder of various acknowledgment I used to get for making coffee—good and bad and now that I quite both made me realize the aspects of doing something for someone without any courtesy showed us the part of their character.

After a drink of hot water and a bite of banana, I went to the usual routine of finding my running shoes and track pants. Both seem to be in a place where they were left yesterday.

As I opened the door to the house the cold wind hit my eyelids crushing down my sleep had in them.

As I made myself ready for the jog.  With sweatshirt covering the upper body the cold winds caressed my hand. The sun hadn’t made a full appearance which meant the street lights had to act as a path for me before crashing into a street dog or human. In winters the street lights should still be shining in the sky but today some had decided to have a breakdown.

My run usually makes me cross over through the narrow lanes to small road then a big highway at the end acts as a track but today I went towards the opposite direction where narrow lanes took me towards a path of people backyards, where you could smell the aroma from dirty utensils made for the last night dinner.

As I rushed towards the left lane I took the eye off the path and the biggest lie I was told about this lanes came to my head.

“In these lanes don’t find love they find a human being melted towards the hell”

Maybe she was lighting a small fire when I stumbled upon her and fell towards the opposite side of the path. Fell flat on the ground nothing to worry about until I tried to move my legs.

As I slowly felt the bone-shattering pain it seemed like the bone had been moved to an unusual direction. I slowly looked back someone was sitting in the corner with a body covered in shawl the rays of the sun was slowly making its presence fell in the surrounding and this had made the thin line of the person emerge. It was the dawn of day where I could see a person with brown shawl covered body moving towards me.

“You could have hit me thankfully you stumbled upon that rock”

The voice had a serenity of this cold morning still shivering with the cold windiness of the morning. Her eyes still had the sleepy tone with which she questioned my presence.

 

 

I looked through those eyes of her, as I held my legs the pain was still excruciating through the veins but subsided with calmness.  Her slow little hands now moved towards my laces were I saw that the pain has now just been done with.

Her cold hands made way through my dirty socks and with holes it looked I needed more pain to subside the embarrassment. She slowly stood up without even looking towards me, now the shawl only covered her upper body, as she went towards the entrance.

Making me wonder what my next step should be as I felt the pain reducing under the shadows of dawn, as I reached for my shoes she stopped my hand in the mid-air. With her cold hands, the red bindi freshly applied in the morning told me she was married. The thin smile she gave onto the little regions made me enjoy this morning.

Small bottle of oil she brought out provided an ease to my legs. In her soft words, she told me I need a rest for my legs the run could be more painful. She had a kind of sadness which emptied the soul and the cold wind made it difficult for her to cry out and maintain the peace to overcome.

She left me there in my situation only to make me realize that life even didn’t make plans for us though we are all loved equally.

 

 

nasty life

The Evening Lights

Attempts after Attempts to change had forgone

The past was still haunting the little thoughts I had

Affecting the habits and days

As I curbed on the shared ride, vibrating on thin wheels

Where the time being solution while the present remained encapsulated

The ride was dragging at snails pace

Until a family entered — A kid, a man and a woman

Dressed for the evening ride around the city

Their feet’s had the most clean and fresh pair of sandals and shoes

The kid was sitting opposite to me with a gleeful smile

Just that he was looking down towards his feet

The smile had feeling of touch not of masked people

Something told me that without even seeing the lights the evening was still bright for him

nasty life

Symbolic

The pyres were laid down

The chants had began

It was moment when the life would start at different end

The recreation of life with body begin burned

As the body rested over the vehicle

A circle of three for marking the completion of life was done by the closest one

It had steps and chanting the final blow to life

As the pyre was lit

It began with small whispers of flames starting just below the head

It’s said that the soul of a man is first separated from their mind and then from the body

As the journey for another life begins

The fire was setting the travelling path for the body

Carry it to the world unknown but still better

As only the memories remained in the mind

The other life we would all be separated from our begins

nasty life

Journey

The reasons were far-a-gone

As I held on to the little ones of destination and practice

I knew may be it wasn’t made for those lights to shine under the dark covers

I had made the provisions of decisions, of being in love

The lights were dimming under the thin cover of clouds

No matter how fast I ran the decision on the destination was going away

It was my heart which was struggling, the lone defense of love without my mind

Had I held the love for too long or was it still struggling with PANTING

Would you like to help out the reason, the mind asked fighting the lonesome battle

The strings of being with you are broken

Would it help for being alone on this journey?