As I went through the last bit healing

I could feel the pain piercing through the narrow gaps cuts

It etched and felt the dying pain

The pain and seething for the things I could have done or places I could I lived

As I kept imagining the wounds on my body

I kept looking at the wounds which were healing

Maybe a human soul doesn’t need healing

It needs answer the question arising through combination expectations going through the life

A mind for most humans is like a panoramic view under the holocaust for the heart

Maybe the war of survival would go on in those minds of humans

Living with a smile and anger of a day


Revisited Memories

Revisited Memories

As the beauty encapsulated the eyes,
The long green patches and small ponds filled the puzzle of long forgotten memories
The narrow roads leading to a small hut,
Where water was luxury and electricity an alienated technology
The journey had been long and tiring but the escapes of destination haunted the vision
Yes, even six long years had made me silently despise my reasons of staying away
As each station passed back I felt the breeze hugging me
Telling me about the storms and morning sunlight
As the distance diminished with each passing second the beats under my skin didn’t feel similar to mine
As I visited the long forgotten me lost in those green patches and easing through those ponds.



The little being struggled to stop the paths,
The path of buzzing, sunlight and the cold chilling winds of morning
Tucked between the sheets, it struggled to keep the brave eyelids closed
As the mom was preparing for the morning rituals
With the dirty sheet, it wandered off the fly from the little hole it had kept between the outer world and the world in sheets
As the smoke and pollution disturbed the lazy fresh morning for the human soul
The little soul still had dreams to discover and some birds not see
The dream was still on his mind tangling and making it play
The honking, the chirps of birds, the shouting of people were all taking the dream away
My bus had just slowed down on the curve where the family lived on the footpath
Maybe the life would change in the uncertainty to make him better
The dream would last inside his head, where nature prompted the worst of conditions for him not see
Though some way nature had planted the dream to give a glimpse of tomorrow,

Incomplete Journey

Incomplete Journey

It was a layover for just over an hour, my bus ride would take me straight into the mountains of the north of Sikkim, maybe. Maybe is the word used because the region had seen some heavy snowfalls and landslides during the last few weeks. The region is said to have a very sensitive climate.

I am not even sure if I would ever reach the region. The initial permit required to reach region was not granted to by the magistrate at the Sikkim office. So as rebellious I was a three month of jail or fine of 1 lakh rupees or both didn’t scare me at all.

As I sat there looking facing the crowded bus stand with people moving in all directions. Most were the local people going home after the daily day’s work. The region was still tough to crack open with the mind of an outsider looking to fit in. I saw a figure covered all the body regions from my left side I only saw nameplate of a book. “Mein Kampf a biography of Hitler”, now though I am not a hypocrite still it seems unusual for a person to read such a book at a crowded bus stop.

The boring bus stop triggered my hope to go out and get a better look of the person. I sneaked from the side to get a better view was I reading the book title right, and checked it. I was now only 15 to 25 m away from the person, then a bit startled the person looked straight towards, I almost frizzed under the stare. The person adjusted the seating and removed the covering cloth on the face. The small face had given up the identity of her body.

It was one of the most majestic aura of living I had ever seen, the flinch in her eyes was so strong that it had hypnotized me without a warning. As I got almost floated up beside her trying to read her eyes, she hadn’t blinked for a second nor did I.  As I came beside her, carrying my heavy rucksack which felt light on those steps.

She patted the seat beside her, it looked as if she was saying coming we can read together. I sat beside her the people in the background has just seemed to have become the near moving pillars; I was least interested in the words and more inclined towards her eyes. Transfixed into her eyes the beauty just capsulated me in the shell of vision. It didn’t flint and I floating towards the Trans of her interior, she had now covered her face again the only thing I could see was her eyes.

I had forgotten about my journey my adventure nothing could be completed without her being without any sense. The sense that now had taken over me was making me fade away from the season the regional apathy of life towards solution and prayer.

Suddenly she got and looked towards me before I could react. She kept her right hand on my shoulder, don’t we can’t make it work out. I sat their making sense of my life and how can it be so cruel to me.

In the end, I was arrested and released after few days on the basis of being too adventure freak, the only thing I remembered was the capsuling eyes and day I left Sikkim.



As I rubbed the pain on my knee caps, it felt as if that knee caps had broken into pieces. The eye lids were in distress of constant sharp light coming through them. The night was feeling long away from over. I was fully dressed on the upper body but my lower body was more like a patio being mowed by a bull. As I creeping opened my eyes to let the light slowly slip in through the space.

Covered with blanket it covered my knees which I was rubbing over the cover, half of the bed was still neatly made. There was big Italian framed photo on the wall with two people looking at each other smiling. The walls were dimly colored with light blue and sun’s yellow color on the pillars. The pain in my knees has now reduced to bits and traveled below the knee line covering till the toe; it felt better. Though everything seemed kind of familiar but it felt like an alien space to me.

On my side there was a glass of water along with a diary. The water was easy target but the diary seemed more tempting when you don’t have the sense of your being. With my hand I felt the hard bounded cover it was simple, grab and run, the hand writing matched with mines but not the words. I felt like being dragged out of my mind where the words I had never seen, never written or even never felt that they had left my eyes. The first page dated back to 19th November 2016; I was discussing about my birthday party and lacy.

As I felt the uneven thoughts coming through those pages I rubbed my knees again the pain had vanished by now and it felt like I could standup. As I uncovered the body, it felt like cold syringes on my feet. I glanced through the last few pages, and went to the last one dated on 5th May 2017. You shouldn’t dance with so much Horn maybe the death star will see and get jealous of you. Lucy as always like a grace, love her and hope she has a great time. “Next time no cocktails only whiskey”.

Suddenly there was knock on the door and a lady walked in with few coffee cups and bread. Surprised and embarrassed about my situation I regained the cover over my body.

“Don’t be embarrassed, I am Lucy your wife.”

“Read this Q-cards” As she handed my some cards written with my own handwriting and signed by me and a doctor named Dr. Suchi.

The first Q-card read of my birthday and my wife with a photo; who was now making coffee for me. Second was describing my condition “” latter were the stuff about my daily activities and life.

As I went through them bewilderment I looked on for some other aspects. Lucy Said “You shouldn’t dance so much you already have a knee problem look at those sore feet”. As she hugged me.

Another entry in the Diary.

The Journey that Almost Killed Me!!

The Journey that Almost Killed Me!!

As I collapsed down the road, some the guards who were sitting under the shade came running. Next few moments were in blur the thunderstorm in the background was growling with fun that at any moment from now we could see a big sea of water gushing through the path we were walking. Though I closed my eyes and started imaging my journey through the forest. I looked for clues about those people through their voice and statement. Suddenly a female voice came to my ear,” Look we need to pick him up and lay him at the interior tents, he needs an IV quickly. High fever maybe a yellow fever you never know”.

As she kept shouting towards the people around me and I closed my eyes I felt like I was hallucinating, falling, getting wet and then hitting the ground. My body looked for energy, as I tried shutting my brain off; the numbness of my body told me maybe it was too late for me to see the next day. The hallucinating brain was picking me up shaking me with memories of my trek.

Last night was good night. I slept for three hours without any wakeup calls. Now one thing I have to look for is the source of water before I dehydrate. The trek was never supposed to be any dangerous than just walking, climbing and camping at nights. But one cool mistake you commit in the trap of forest and you never see the life-light.

The sun was just up and shining over the tropical forest and here you’re sure to sweat like a meat. My primary aim was to look for source of water before the blood clogs down. What trees taught me the earlier you sleep the more energetic you are in the morning, so maybe this could tell the reason for my fast moving legs.

As I evaded the dense bushes, the downhill was now just few steps away. I increased my speed and the long roots of trees helped me get down.  As I encountered the river I saw that water was muddy than water I saw downhill in village, as I cleaved and filled using my solar powered bottle. I looked for naturally formed small ponds on banks were the water will be clearer as compared to water in the flowing river.

As I stepped away from the river and resumed my trek, I encountered the forest apples. Which are mostly green and must have bigger seeds than the normal apples? As I stepped on the tree I saw few monkeys which were busy enjoying the feast. I grabbed few and moved forward and sensed that the up climb will now be a long one. Trying to reach one of my base point, before I exhaust all of my resources.  I will probably reach the base point by tomorrow morning.

As I moved forward the sun was shining with all it’s might towards the forest. You could see from a distance that the garnishing heat on the body wasn’t helping much of the body. As I was sweating rains in my body, I tried to rest under a big tree where no predators were seen.

As I was resetting the sun had suddenly increased the mighty fall of rays; which made me close my eyes and go in for a nap. The sudden burn sensation on my eyes didn’t help me, it was like someone was burning my eyelids. Before I could react a spider was sitting right over my eyes, looking right into me.

A sudden jerk would startle it, making an eminent reaction from the spider. Slowly pushing my hand below it; left it on the branch. Though I still wasn’t sure had the spider bitten me as I checked for any swelling but none could be seen?

As I moved through trenchers trek the uphill became more and more difficult. The forest became denser and water was soaking out. As I looked for any wild animals it was my first encounter with wild elephants they were living near a small pond. Now you don’t disturb them you go through a different route. They sensed me and made a howling sound towards me and flapping its ears. I took step back and then a detour through the region. This was my first step towards wrong direction.


I could not make the sense of a sun, it’s like I could see two suns in the sky. Though I moved away from my path I had also lost lot of my energy into this through this simple one moment mistake which was now multiplying.

As I swept on to the vision full, each turn looked like a new struggle down the monster jungle. Here I remembered the golden rule never visit the map when you are unsure of where you are the mind always will take you to the wrong turn. As I calculated my next move my body was showing signs of dehydrating brain.

As I sat under the shade I saw some bushes move behind me, Though I didn’t move an inch I got ready with my pepper spray and knife from my backpack. After sometime when I was sure that the animal has passed on, I looked for another matter to see me through. Now my healthy was giving up on me as I felt weak through my muscles.

Treacherously climbing through those walls and of rocks I now had a sudden quick urge to complete my climb. Though I tried the first remedial methods of taking medicines from first aid and trying to rest my body for some time.

The vision was flickering and my legs weren’t working as required. I always wanted to die in mountains but not in this way not looking at the sky and thinking maybe the next like I will take different route? By this time I was hallucinating. After a reluctant turn I crossed a small stream where the bushes were aligned perfectly to make bridge. As I was walking now under the sun which seemed to have turned red, I saw some people in front of me on cleared patch in forest. Two small tents where build up with people moving from one place to other. They were surprised to find and looked at me as if they had seen an alien coming through the jungle, as I balanced myself with all the energy I had left. I gave them that I am fine and collapsed.

Next two months I was in hospital with doctors were unable to determine what had really happened to me. Was it the spider? Maybe yes or not. The body had gone into a sequence of partial paralysis and the nerve damage was seen at the core.

As I sat their looking at clock on the wall it seemed like some miracle could only save me from this bed ridden state. As my health condition improved over next six months.

I never finished the trek. The people who were campaign in between the forest was a research group who had come from the west side of the forest. I again visited the east side of the forest, the village people were happy to hear that I had survived. Latter a lady came and said “You know right it was you”